December 2011
87 posts
Remember, you don't have to run faster than the...
Happy New Year!
How would you like to receive your lottery...
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Biology Teacher: So the sperm is surrounded with glucose
student: you mean semen is like sugar?
Biology Teacher: yeah basically
me: doesn't taste like..
Biology Teacher:
me:
student:
Biology Teacher:
me:
student:
me:
Basically tumblr is a suicide hotline where nobody...
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me: wow ur teeth are like stars!
hobo: thank you!
me: so yellow and distant from each other
hobo cries and i walk away in my long fur coat while get out (leave) by jojo plays
Watchthis is perfect
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me: i'm so lonely omg i just want someone to talk at me
someone: hey
me: no not you
tourist: could you give us directions to Olive Garden?
new yorker: no, but i could give you directions to an actual Italian restaurant lol
tourist: oh you think you're clever???
new yorker: what
tourist: i'm going to meet my dying neice and she happens to love olive garden so her whole family is going to eat with her so she'll have a few moments of happiness
new yorker: oh... oh god i'm so sor
tourist: no shut the fuck up you piece of shit. i'll find it myself
the tourist drives off and the new yorker is left to think about his life choices and his decision to be a giant condescending asshole
customer: I like your glasses
me: thanks man
customer: they make you look really smart. but in like a pornstar kinda way
me:
customer:
me:
customer:
me:
customer: can I have a mango gelati
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a year from today we're all gonna die
autoplay music without a pause button
finally a new layout
annefranksgasmask:
i hope my dog asks me to homecoming oh wait i dont have a dog
annefranksgasmask:
in a relationship and its complicated with myself
mleting:
seeing old pictures of myself is the equivalent to dying
theprincessdiana:
COLOR NOT COLOUR MM/DD/YYYY NOT DD/MM/YYYY FAHRENHEIT NOT CELSIUS
fu real
christian 1: knock knock
christian 2: who's there?
christian 1: faggot
christian 2: faggot who
christion 1: WOW YOU WOULD ACTUALLY ANSWER THE DOOR TO A FAGGOT WOW GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY RELIGION YOU GAYLOVING QUEER I SWEAR TO GOD YOU HAVE 5 SECONDS TO CONVERT OR I WILL BURN YOUR HOUSE DOWN YOU ANUSPUMPER
Millier: To whoever the fuck made this; you fucking disgust me. I'm a Christian and guess what? I'm a a homosexual. You seriously need a reality check because this is completely horrible and wrong. What gives you the right to say being a homosexual is wrong, because it isn't. Not all Christians hate gays don't be so fucking stereotypical. People like you make me sick.
are you kidding me
chello: y'all are gay
travis: didn't read
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doctor: are you sexually active
me: what's that
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Watchomg
oh my god click this link →
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omg i was on tumblr and realized i didnt have a safety tab.
gotta have a safety tab. people dont know how to knock. also your computer could freeze.
what was i thinking
I've had the same icon for like a year and a half...
which reminds me i had tumblr before it was cool and yes i am trying to impress you
2nuns1bible:
we are the people our parents told us not to talk to on the internet
when you're taking a test and the people around...
