Cop: This is going to sound so awkotaco but we recovered your daghter's corpse

favoritepanties:

When you wake up, and you’re like:

and when you get into the shower, and it’s like:

and then you walk downstairs, and it’s all like:

and you have your breakfast, and you’re just like:

then you walk out the door and your ride isn’t there, so you’re all:

and you call you friend, and they’re all:

and you finally just go back to bed thinking:

unfreshing:

There’s literally no way to tell how many chameleons are in your house

theashkaari:

EA has quality customer service.

theashkaari:

EA has quality customer service.

Disney Executive 1: Should we make a new movie?
Disney Executive 2: No, everyone loves 3D with all their heart and souls so instead of making new movies lets just re-release every movie we've ever made in 3D.
Disney Executive 1: That sounds like a great idea *Wipes his ass with a stack of money*
Disney Executive 2: Thanks *Tears a stack of 100 dollar bills in half*